Above is the picture-perfect definition of the Fluffy Dump. Massive farts and gut-cramps usually signal that you’re poop-production line isn’t functioning efficiently. As you can see by the results, the turd firming team took the day off.

It is technically 12:55AM Thursday but I’m only now posting Wednesday’s, um, content. I spent the entire day ripping the most horrible stank-ass farts. I figured for sure I wouldn’t be waiting this long to make my post.

I’m sitting in the office at the H&R block with my girlfriend getting my 2004 and 2005 taxes done. Yeah, I’m a slack ass. My taxes were all jacked up b/c at the end of 2004 I moved from Atlanta, GA to San Diego, CA. Turns out the former Chief Financial Officer at our company fucked up and didn’t switch my payroll taxes to Cali until August of 2005.

Here’s a lesson everyone. If your girlfriend of five years is a 34 year old, raging alcoholic, under no circumstances should you hire her to work at your company. If it turns out she’s absolutely incapable of using computers because she refuses to be taught, do not send her to classes. For God’s sake, don’t send her to QuickBooks classes and then put her in charge of the books for your company!

So at the end of it all, it cost over $500 to do my taxes and I owe California $1398. Fucking bitch. Still, I think the $500 H&R block charged me was less the complications of my returns and more a “service fee” for having to do accounting work while being fumigated with my horrific farts. Poor fuckers, I would have charged $1000.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 at 4:04 am and is filed under Fluffy Dumps. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.