Well, we finally got around to upgrading to the latest version of WordPress.  Now we can install plugins and other cool new functionality.  You’ll notice the Share links below each post now.  Please do use them!  Everyone on Facebook needs a good dump posted in their Wall!  Think of it as virtual “Upper Decker”.

One of the new tools I’m really stoked about is the NextGEN gallery tool which will allow us to post thumbnail galleries.  I get a lot of feedback from friends that they dig my writing but don’t want to be forced to look at my poo.  Yes, I have very strange friends, heh.  So now with this new tool we can post more poo but make it less in-your-face.

So after my last post about my iPhone I was thinking about the pix on it (which I did manage to save before reformatting).  I only had a few “keepers” but I figured I’d post them.  Here we have the fruits of today’s modern technology: mobile poo!  Now thanks to decent quality cameras in phones you can always capture that special log!

Well, this is an interesting predicament. Although I’m not entirely obligated to provide a picture of my daily toilet-droppings along with a blog, in order to maintain the theme of this blessed site I feel compelled to do such a thing. And here I sit -with 2 days of constipation building up- in relative misery. It’s almost as though I can feel the coming rush of ass-vomit being blocked by a giant nugget with the consistency of charcoal. Sooner or later (hopefully,) I’m certain to let loose a flurry of cascading-and-seemingly-endless shit lava. In the meantime, my stomach is bloating out like a fucking 8-year-old Ethiopian kid. I’ve ingested so much Pepto and greasy food I’m almost worried when this explosion will take place. And trust me, there will be an explosion.

Surely it can’t be stage fright, can it? I mean, my hobby as an avid beer enthusiast means I generally make two trips to the toilet on a daily basis. And I’ve been involved in one way or another with Marc’s online operations for a good three years now, so my pride and humility is damn-near nonexistent.

At any rate, you can rest your laurels on the fact that I’ll at least have my trusty iPhone camera ready to snap a shot of the disgusting mess that’s left behind. I’d take one of my other digital cameras with me, but my current day job has confidentiality issues. Also I’m hesitant to wonder what the hell my colleagues will think when they hear me making obvious snapshot noises in the stall (they already think I’m weird enough as it is.) But I have faith that my phone’s camera will catch the corny details of the soupy mix I create in the commode. After all, I’ve taken other pics with it that have come out rather decent-like.

Here’s a pic I took in my backyard of an ominous cloud formation before a very heavy storm that rolled through a month ago. I guess God decided to teabag North Texas that day:

And here’s an adorable photo of my new puppy, Maria Conchita Alonzo (fuck off, I’m not Mexican:)

She’s a little shit when she’s not sleeping. I guess that counts for the theme of this blog, right Marc?