Well, this is an interesting predicament. Although I’m not entirely obligated to provide a picture of my daily toilet-droppings along with a blog, in order to maintain the theme of this blessed site I feel compelled to do such a thing. And here I sit -with 2 days of constipation building up- in relative misery. It’s almost as though I can feel the coming rush of ass-vomit being blocked by a giant nugget with the consistency of charcoal. Sooner or later (hopefully,) I’m certain to let loose a flurry of cascading-and-seemingly-endless shit lava. In the meantime, my stomach is bloating out like a fucking 8-year-old Ethiopian kid. I’ve ingested so much Pepto and greasy food I’m almost worried when this explosion will take place. And trust me, there will be an explosion.

Surely it can’t be stage fright, can it? I mean, my hobby as an avid beer enthusiast means I generally make two trips to the toilet on a daily basis. And I’ve been involved in one way or another with Marc’s online operations for a good three years now, so my pride and humility is damn-near nonexistent.

At any rate, you can rest your laurels on the fact that I’ll at least have my trusty iPhone camera ready to snap a shot of the disgusting mess that’s left behind. I’d take one of my other digital cameras with me, but my current day job has confidentiality issues. Also I’m hesitant to wonder what the hell my colleagues will think when they hear me making obvious snapshot noises in the stall (they already think I’m weird enough as it is.) But I have faith that my phone’s camera will catch the corny details of the soupy mix I create in the commode. After all, I’ve taken other pics with it that have come out rather decent-like.

Here’s a pic I took in my backyard of an ominous cloud formation before a very heavy storm that rolled through a month ago. I guess God decided to teabag North Texas that day:

And here’s an adorable photo of my new puppy, Maria Conchita Alonzo (fuck off, I’m not Mexican:)

She’s a little shit when she’s not sleeping. I guess that counts for the theme of this blog, right Marc?

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 7:30 pm and is filed under Poo-less Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.