Ok, sorry for delayed posting.  Prolly only gonna be able to post every few days until I find some more folks to write for the site.  Also, heading out to San Francisco tonight to the Cybernet Expo show so won’t be updating for a few days.  But porn conventions always make for great posts :))

In the meanwhile scope the gallery below.  Apparently my cat Scount decided to get in on the action.  Wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone.  Nothing worse than being interrupted during that “special time” on the throne!

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Damn, last weekend was rough! First I worked nights all week so my schedule was all fooked. Then my friend Ash had a “surprise” birthday party Saturday night. It was at our old condo (pix at www.marcwomack.com) where I hadn’t been since we moved into our new place. I’d forgotten what a perfect party pad that place was. Huge, open layout, 3rd bedroom setup as the ultimate game room with full size pool table and custom built bar. I should know, I had the bar built for me. It was very cool to hang out there and party and NOT feel responsible to make sure everyone was having fun. Call me selfish. Of course it also rocked that some chick named Sherry who had a serious set of Chesticles decided after a couple drinks that she was bi-sexual and that my chick was the best thing since sliced bread! So yeah, the party lasted long into the morning. The results in the bowl prove it:

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Heh, notice my dog Stanley scoping out the work in one of the pix!

Also, heads up that we finally got the full redesign to Shey’s ToonBang Free Anime Porn Site up and running! it’s all free, it’s all great content, and you might even see Jessica Rabbit Getting Boned! In other news, wanted to thank the guys over @ WTFPeople.com. They’re the first large site ever to throw us a link! Much appreciated and if anyone wants to scope out some bizarre sex head over there!

Last night I decided to go check out the new Iron Man movie, in celebration of the re-launching of this wondrous shithole site. You see, as a child my favorite superhero just so happened to be the armored Avenger. Now obviously the many booze-soaked and drug-laced years of college have clouded my memory enough that I can’t remember why I liked Iron Man. I don’t know; maybe I somehow desired to be a rich alcoholic. If that’s the case, though, it looks like I’m halfway there.

Anyway, it’s a Thursday night, and I’m going to see a recently-released movie in Plano, Texas. Shall I hop over to the Cinemark down the road, amidst the flurry of raucous kids, unhindered by their parents’ watchful eyes? My movie going experience ruined by some little shits who’re more concerned with impressing their faggot friends than watching a film that cost $135 million dollars to make? Yeah, fuck that. There’s only one place I go to these days when I can’t wait to see a movie at home, the Studio Movie Grill. Frankly, I’ve noticed people have a tendency to behave themselves more when they’re shelling out more money for the theater experience. Also I generally buy a bucket of Coronas for myself, and after a couple of those bad boys I could care less about my noisy surroundings.

So there I was, the aforementioned beer before me, coupled with a plate of hot wings, potato skins, and hot buttered popcorn, and the film begins. I will say this, if you’re looking for anything other than nostalgic fun, you’re going to find yourself sorely disappointed in this movie. It’s merely a thrill-a-minute CG-fest with some well-executed comedy by Robert Downey, Jr. (who still looks like he might dabble in sucking his coke dealer off.) And the idea of getting Jeff Daniels to play the bad guy was brilliant, since I can’t stand the guy. Well, except for The Big Lebowski. Oh, and Tron. Okay, maybe I DO like the guy, but he still sounds like he’s got a mouth full of shit when he talks.

I will say this, be sure you stick around for after the credits. I suggest you kick yourself if you don’t.

The next morning I awoke with that old familiar feeling. I don’t know why I get the occasional sliver-shits. Perhaps it’s somewhere between a healthy, solid dump and hangover shits. All I know is my brown kisser’s doing a little Jap-eye action or something. But that nasty motherfucker Marc insists I document these daily ass-foibles, so here it goes. I guess the REAL question is, how do you categorize something like this?

Regrets (and potato skins,) I’ve had a few…

Good Morning. Well at least good morning to anyone in Asia. Most of you readers are probably enjoying your Sunday evening. Not me. It’s 8AM Monday morning over here. I’m heading into work. Sucks. What’s worse? Monday Night Football comes on Tuesday morning here.

So this is what I wake up to start my week with. Combo dump of Fluffy Dumps and Pop The Cork Dumps. As you can see this one is mostly cork but there’s some definite brown champagne at the end. The cork itself is very fluffy which if I take this anal analogy way to far is probably why there’s so little champagne. Since the “cork” didn’t make a great seal the “champagne” managed to “evaporate” out. Heh, yeah evaporate in the form of all that raunchy ass-gas I unintentionally blowing across my king size bed at my gf last night.

So yesterday I posted thanking my new friend Kay for nagging me to become active on this site. Because she’s Japanese this got me thinking about why so much of the world’s scat porn comes from Japan. I really know very little about Japan. I can’t even claim to have been there. I’ve been through Narita, Tokyo airport several times, but normally I say visiting a country’s airport doesn’t count as visiting the country.

Normally, I said. I have been able to learn some things about Japanese culture simply by frequenting their airport. First, I love Udon Noodles and the spicy dried red pepper powder stuff they put on the noodles. Next, a vast majority of Japanese women I’ve met (all except Kay) seem to be humanely incapable of speaking at volume levels above a whisper. Seriously, it’s SO annoying when I’m on these long flights back and forth from Manila. The “gringo” flight attendent comes on and does all the standard “no smoking, we’ll be serving you shitty food when we get airborne, no fucking in the bathroom” stuff while I’m trying to go to sleep. This takes five minutes. When that’s done the Japanese flight attendent comes on in this hushed little annoying sicky sweet whisper and yaps for FIFTEEN minutes. Anytime anything is said by the English-speaking flight attendent it has to be reapeated in Japanese and it takes THREE TIMES as long.

So the stereotype is that Japanese are very effecient. Maybe, but their language isn’t. Sentence in English: 1 minute. Same Sentence in Japanese: 4 minutes. Same Sentence in Spanish: 4.2 Seconds.

Back to the scat question. I don’t have a good answer yet. BUT, I do no something is up with this culture and how they interact w/ their ass and what comes out of their ass. The bathrooms in the Tokyo airport all have TWO types of toilettes: Western and Traditional. Check out “Traditional”:

What the hell is that? It’s literally just a porcelain plate that’s three inches below the floor. One end (on the left on this picture) has a small hole that water sprays out of WHEN you flush it (not before). The other end has a, um, “splatter guard” and hole with a very little bit of water in it.

Apparently you squat over this thing and drop your load. From what I’ve been able to find out about this Traditional Style Japanese Toilet, the theory is that squatting to the point that your asshole is even with your ankles is a more “natural” experience and results in a healthier body. Um, ok. One thing I know it results in is a horrible funk every time you use it. There’s no water to capture the poo and drown the shit funk bubbling up from within. Sadly, I haven’t had the relatively simple combination of A) the need to take a dump, B) been in Tokyo airport at the time, and C) had a camera on me. The pic above I snapped when I had B) and C) but try as I might I couldn’t conjure up A). Not to worry, my faithful girlfriend Shey came through for us with some hard-hitting investigative journalism:

Sadly the “C) had a camera” part was only the crappy camera built into her phone. Still think this pic does a pretty good job of showing what the aftermath of a Traditional Japanese Toilette episode looks like. Until you flush that thing you’ve got a turd on a tray. Yuck. Shey does report that it’s actually a very comfortable way to drop off the kids at the pool. My problem with it is there’s no pool.

So what does this say about Japanese people. Well, my thinking is they, much like me, prefer to inspect their droppings before sending them on their way. Most likely the thousands of years of “Eastern” medicine dictating that you can learn a lot about your state of health by giving your brown bombs a once-over. Could be, but I think it’s more than that. I think they’re proud of a good shit. Kay, my one Japanese friend, seems to fit into this category. What I still don’t get and will have to try and pick Kay’s brain on is where/how/when Japanese folk go from being proud of a good turd to getting a stiffy at the thought of smearing said turd over themselves. How could anyone be aroused by the thought of EATING shit? I just don’t get it. I will ask some questions and see if I can find the answers. But don’t expect me to go undercover. Fuck that shit!

Since I’m going not to be back in the US of A until mid-April, I had to hit my favorite taco stand before I left San Diego. La Post Latina has the best fucking carne asada on earth. In true “fuck the diet, I’m traveling” spirit, I ordered up the Carne Asada Burrito Especial which is basically a quesadilla used to wrap up a huge burrito. So instead of one tortilla, the carne asada, guacamole, salsa, sour cream and cheese are surrounded by a tortilla, a layer of melted cheese, and another tortilla. It’s like the Mexican’s got tired of getting fucked by Montezuma’s Revenge and created a burrito specifically designed to give Gringo’s diarrhea.

As usual so I don’t get mega-jetlagged, I stayed up all night before the trip packing and left San Diego at 4AM to drive up to Los Angeles to catch my flight out. I make it up to LA around six in the morning. I stop by McDonald’s for breakfast. At this point I’m already ripping the most horrible farts. There were two homeless guys in the upstairs dining room sleeping. My creeping death air biscuits actually woke them up. You know it’s bad when a bum tells you that you stink.

Getting checked in and obtaining a boarding pass was a real bitch. As I’m picking up my bags to put them on the scale, the strain just about drains my bowels of all gas in one lethal launch. I felt like such a bastard. “Excuse me mam, I know you’re trying not to pass out from the stench I just forced you to endure, but would you mind checking to see if there’s an exit row seat available for me?” I’m surprised she didn’t give me my own row after experiencing first-hand the nasal damage I can inflict.

To ensure I didn’t get murdered at 30,000 feet I hit the toilet before boarding and forced out what I could. It was a stinky, juicy Fluffy / Hershey Squirt dump that took forever to deliver. Why no picture? Fucking technology robbed me! I get up to take the pic, I’m lining it up, I start to hit the shutter button, and the fucking toilet flushes itself! The infrared sensor noticed I’d left the seat and decided to send my submission to Davey Jones’ Locker.

I’m glad I forced some production before I boarded as the guy I wound up sitting next to for ten hours was pretty cool. We’re shooting the shit, talking about me working on the internet. I don’t tell him who I am as I’m too tired to get into telling stories from the glamorous wonderful word of an internet pornographer. Eventually we’re talking about how I “run entertainment websites that make money by selling ads” and he starts asking questions about the business side of it. He’s like “so sometimes I’ve seen videos that people can click, like on one site I go to all the time: ConsumptionJunction.com”. I just start cracking up. I ask if he visits that site often. Turns out he’s a daily visitor. I explain I’m the founder of the site. Turns out he’s a huge fan. So I’m glad I wasn’t ripping bombs on him all night.

I make a three hour layover in Japan go by quickly by eating some killer Udon noodles with shrimp tempura on top. I head over to the “day spa” where you can take a full shower for only $5. Finally it’s time for boarding. Folks, I gotta point something out here that may sound racist. Japanese people that work in the airline industry are fucking stupid! Every time I fly through that airport I wonder how the fuck the Japanese get the rep of being so damn smart. Last time I flew through they had like 300 people lined up heading in one direction. The woman working the gate goes around the curve of the hallway to the far opposite side of where everyone is lined up. She holds a sign “now boarding rows 60 and higher”. Of course, this mental midget is around the corner for where everyone is AND she’s got the sign facing away from everyone. They won’t start boarding until everyone lines up the way they want but she’s 100% invisible to the crowd of passengers. I go over and suggest that maybe she should take the sign to where everyone is or AT LEAST turn the fucking sign around so people can see it. She ignores me. After ten minutes some “senior management” person realizes I might be onto something and goes to retrieve the sign and walk it thru the crowd of people. DUH. I couldn’t resist a big fat “I TOLD YOU” as the first twat walks by.

So this time, they decided fuck bothering with any type of order. They board the first class and then say “now boarding economy class”. That’s it. No order. No trying to fill the back of the plane first. Just “if ya got a ticket, get your ass on the plane”. So of course it takes forever to board and the flight leaves thirty minutes late. This is supposed to be a society that’s known to be big into rules, organization, and efficiency. Shit, the lazy ignorant fucks in the Atlanta airport have more sense than the Japs.

I got into the Philippines around 11:30PM last night. I head to the office to say hello to the night shift and do a quick scan of my emails. I show the crew this site. They’re properly grossed out and curious. Ten minutes later I feel a butt-brew knocking on my back door. I tell them I’m out as I’ve gotta go “make a post to my site” which is my now my standard way of saying I gotta take a dump. As I expected, all that junk food I gobbled up during the twenty-something hours of travel time made for a creative contribution to the Manila city sewers!

Fortunately, we have a really phat apartment. It’s got two bedrooms and four toilets! My master bedroom used to be two bedrooms and they converted into one. So it’s got like a living room area in the bedroom and two walk in closets, each which are attached to full bathrooms. One bathroom for me and one for the hookers! Best of all, all the toilets have the best invention ever:

I call the gf, let her know I’m fine and then crash. I’m fucking exhausted. I got like six hours total sleep on the plane but it wasn’t comfortable and I’d been up for like forty-eight hours. I’m asleep for exactly three minutes and seven seconds when I hear “MARC, GET UP! WE KNOW YOU”RE HERE, WE BROUGHT YOU TITS!!” Shit, so much for sleep. See, there’s a whole crew of American’s over here in Manila. Lots of my dirty internet pornographer buddies. One of them apparently had keys to the corporate apartment. They came in with seven hookers. One, hand-picked for me because of her ginormous fun bags was eager to meet me. See if you can guess which one is her:

And here’s what I looked like right after they woke me up:

So, everyone was massively disappointed to hear that I’m 1) too exhausted to party, 2) that I’ve quit drinking, and 3) that I’m refusing to play with hookers till my gf gets there. My buddy Terrence was like, but I bar-fined that huge tit chick just for you! The not cheating on my gf took the most explaining. I had to explain that my situation is different. It’s not that my gf would have a problem w/ me fucking hookers. She would just be pissed that she missed it. I got them to accept it when they understood that my gf would be here in twelve days and I promised that we could all play together when she gets here. Besides, I was exhausted and my buddy Ryan was asleep upstairs in the spare bedroom and I didn’t want to wake him up with the auditory assault that accompanies me fucking five hookers.

I am pretty fucking proud of myself as some these were real hotties:

So that’s about it. A day in the life of Marc Now I’m going to call my assistant to get him to bring me Starbucks, then heading to Makati Cinema Square to buy a shit-ton of movies on DVD for a whopping $1.10 a pop. Buying every movie nominated for an Oscar will cost less than a latte at a Starbucks in the USA! Fuck I love this country!